Vertigo

Vertigo (from the Latin vertō "a whirling or spinning movement") is a type of dizziness, where there is a feeling of motion when one is stationary. The symptoms are due to a dysfunction of the vestibular system in the inner ear. It is often associated with nausea and vomiting as well as difficulties standing or walking.

The sun is rising earlier. I feel like a big girl in the summer time because I wake up with the sun. Now, don’t confuse that with I wake up and I get out of bed. But when it’s a school day I’m pretty good about not having to use my alarm (unless I have to get out of bed before 5am).

It’s Thursday, April 8th, its Easter break over here, the office is pretty slow. I can sleep in. My boss is in Palm Springs, I really don’t need to be at work until 8am . . . doing the clock math in my head . . . Leave house no later than 7:15, I have clothes ready to wear, I can dry my hair ½ way & put it in a pony so I really only need 40 minutes, OK I should get out of bed around 6:30. Great. Now I’m awake after all that thinking but I’ll just stay in bed & play possum for another 30 minutes. I roll over. UGH! Thwomp Thwomp Thwomp. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that sound was a huge evergreen tree branch banging on the side of the house. Ohhh . . . . I feel something soft warm, like soft baby peach fuzz on my arm oohhh warm too. More of the Thwomp Thowmp Thowmp. Ok, my senses are getting sharper now, I’m more awake, and it’s Smarty the dog. She knows I’m awake. Does she not know I have 30 more minutes to sleep? How can she not understand that as soon as I’m awake she can come up in the bed and cuddle? I appreciate her manners and always waiting for an invitation before coming up but come on; we go thru this e v e r y morning. Fine. I’m up. I might as well get going. If I get into the office early I can probably leave a bit earlier & it’s supposed to be beautiful outside today. Maybe I’ll do some much needed yard work.

I push myself up with my left arm, swing my legs around to the side of the bed, making sure I don’t crack the dog on her nose that is right there in front of me (I can hear her brain thinking Wake Up! Wake Up! Wake Up! Let’s play!! Is it one of those days when you stay home with me all day? I kind of look at her peeking thru one eye thinking “Sorry Smarty, I have to go to work today, it’s not one of those days”. I’m now sitting up on the side of the bed. Instantly I knew something was wrong. It was as if someone in front of me was holding a black eraser, held it on the right side of my face, and swiped it across my eyes.

For just a few seconds It was total darkness with a few ‘stars’ at the end, I put my hand on the dog’s head to hold myself up, I wobble a little. Boy, that was weird. I certainly didn’t think I got up that fast. I’m thirsty as I am every morning when I wake up. I swig the remains of last nights lemon water that is at my bedside. (Refreshing & room temperature, granted the bedroom is probably 63 degrees) OK everything’s all better. Let’s get going. I have to pee. I get up; I take a step, now I’m at the foot of the bed. Holy dizziness. Hmmm . .. my brain is processing now, it was as if it was actually talking to me; you can go to the master bath which is 5 steps, a bit of a turn & another turn (with nothing to hold onto) or you can go to your bathroom which is 10 steps and only 1 turn but there is a beautiful sturdy wall you can hold onto when your body decides to fail itself and take you down to the ground. I take the latter of the two deciding the wall looks very pleasing. I’m walking to the bathroom; my mind is saying “Walk in a straight line. Walk. Walk. Walk. It’s easy, just put one foot in front of the other” but my body is listening to the devil on my shoulder (aka Vertigo but I don’t know this just yet) & it is trying to walk me into the wall that is on my left hand side. Really? What the hell is going on? I make it to the bathroom. I pee. I’m dizzy (and it does not help that the dog is trying to squeeze herself between me sitting on the toilet & the wall in front of me)

I decide to text the office: (this is word for word & with spelling errors)
I think im sick. Just woke up & am real dizzy feel like throwing up. Its kind of weird. I don’t want to take a shower because I feel lopsided. im eating something then going to go to be for a little bit more. Hopefully ill be better in a couple hours (thank I go on about some work stuff)

I think to myself I ate like a pig yesterday. I had leftover Dirty Rice, and probably 5 of mom’s sugar cookies for dinner (not to self: must get back on healthy eating diet! Damn you mom for sending cookies!). I don’t fell like I need food but I decide that I should have some toast. Something just doesn’t feel right. Maybe I have the flu. Great. Just what I want to do, miss work. But, I guess if I have to miss a few days this is the right time to do it while everyone is out for holiday. I walk down the steps feeling odd, get into the kitchen, pop some raisin toast into the toaster and wait. I’m leaning against the counter, I can’t wait any longer, I think I need food. I don’t even want to wait & pour myself some water from the Brita that is in the fridge. I un-pop the toast, and walk into the family room & sit in the chair & nibble on the toast. But it’s not even toast. It’s more like warm bread because I didn’t leave it in the toaster long enough. Chris comes down stairs. He knows something is wrong because I NEVER eat breakfast in the morning. I usually just gulp some water & go. My office has a fairly nice cafeteria so I get a .25 cent coffee in the morning and an omelet or something. I’ve done this for years while working here so it’s not like I’m ‘off’ my routine. I start to cry. I don’t want Chris to see me crying so I try to buck it up.

C: What’s wrong?
A: I don’t feel good
C: Maybe you have a cold
A: Just what I need
C: Go back to bed & lay down for a bit
A: I think I will

As I go back upstairs and I get under the covers & lay down in a tight little ball. You have got to be kidding me!! I’m going to throw up??!! Come on! The last time I threw up because I was actually sick (and NOT hung-over) was, well, I honestly don’t remember. So I go to vomit. I have the dry heaves (gross) I was seriously thinking that I was not going to actually puke for a moment and then I just throw up the water. Chris is putting a cold compress on the back of my neck, he’s asking me what he can do, I’m kind of pretty much a mess & realize the toast is still in my belly. Now that is weird. (it’s also weird that the Dog has now jammed herself between me & the tub sticking her nose in the toilet – that is gross) I would have thought that I’d throw everything up. OK, so much for puking stories. Chris puts me in bed. Tells me I’m not going to work I have the flu. My brain is telling me I don’t have the flu because I’m not hot, I don’t have a fever. But, I think to myself that this has got to be the worst case of the flu I’ve ever had. I end up falling immediately asleep (which is soooo weird for me. I’m Ms. I love me a sleeping pill a nite) I wake up to the buzzing of my phone next to me. My boss ended up texting me back, telling me just to stay home. I told her I threw up and that I should be better tomorrow, She says maybe you are preg. I tell her no way.

Chris ends up going to work. On one hand I’m grateful he’s gone because the house will be quiet but on the other hand I’m terrified that I’m going to die in bed and Chris will walk into the hose with the dog laying and whimpering on top of me. I fall asleep & wake up about 3 hours later. It’s the same old shit. I’m not better. I am hungry tough. I decide to venture downstairs & see what there is to eat even though I really don’t want to throw up again. Nice. A lunchable lunch box thing. I guess it’s better than nothing & I don’t have to ‘prepare’ anything since I can’t really walk a straight line or even hold myself up. I do want something to drink. I go to the ‘drink fridge” in the garage. I’m actually a bit afraid to go out there because what happens if I fall over & konk my head on something & I’m in the garage & nobody finds me (that is just how my brain works sometimes). Mmmmm Diet Coke. I think to myself I better open a couple right now to get them warm & flat because first, that is just how I like to drink them and secondly, if I’m sick & throwing up, maybe it’ll help. I mean it’s not going to be anything like the Coke syrup mom use to give us as kids. Hell, that stuff was great. Do they even sell that anymore? But I figure since it has the word Coke in it I might be ok. (duh). I go back upstairs, turn the TV on. Boy it’s loud. I normally listen to it at 10. It was at 10. I ended up muting it. But, my eyeballs wouldn’t allow me to watch it either. I would have to assume at this point this is what a migraine is like. Maybe I have a migraine. I keep the TV on, but it’s muted, just to keep me company. I eat slowly; I roll over & pray to baby Jesus that I don’t puke. I fall asleep. I wake up about 2 hours later and am so excited I didn’t throw up. I’m still hungry.

I manage to go downstairs again, I get some food, call Chris (who honestly thinks I have the flu). Me, I think I have a brain tumor. You think I’m joking? I’m being serious. I honestly thought I was on the verge of death & I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. I very well might have even cried again. I called mom. She mentioned vertigo. She had a bout with it earlier in the year; grandma is on meds for it . . . BINGO! In a weird way this makes me feel so much better. At least I’m not going to die, I don’t have a brain tumor, and I don’t have MS (for some crazy reason that went through my head also). I call Chris back & tell him I need to see the Dr. tomorrow. Mr. anti-Dr says I don’t have to, I don’t have Vertigo, I just have the flu . . . blah blah blah. He’s so much like his mother. She never goes to the Dr. Now his dad, the hypochondriac is another story. I digress. I called the Dr. The gal say Dr. is booked, I tell her I’ll see anyone I think I have Vertigo. Voila! She got me in a noon the next day with my Dr. The benefits of being real sick I guess. Thank God! I think I have only 1 more day of hell. Well, not really.

Yup. She diagnosed me with Vertigo. Yay for knowing what is wrong with me. But I would have rather had the flu. I was in bed for 4 days straight. I probably should have stayed in bed one more day, but coming from the girl that loves to sleep & stay in bed. . . . . I couldn’t stand it anymore.

I feel for the people that get this all the time or have the ‘Vertigo’ disease. Maybe it’s just my Dr. (Ms. Proactive I’m a Dr. but I really don’t like to give you meds if I don’t have to) She gave me motion sickness pills to take which put me right to sleep. I am on day 6 of this hell. I’m a lot better. I’m on the computer pretty much all day long. That does not help. And just for giggles I’m also telling myself that being at work under these fluorescent lights is not good for me either. I still get dizzy/headrush when I bend down (like when I changed the trash bag last night. Woops!) I’m fine to drive. I just put my cruise control on & probably piss off someone behind me. I can watch TV, the sun (for the most part) is fine now also.

I just really hope that I’m 100% by this weekend so I can go in the garden & plant. Otherise my neighbors are going to think I’m drunk-gardening.